Earlier this week I was sent home from work with a severe migraine, an unfortunate side effect of spending 7+ hours a day staring at a computer screen. I initially welcomed the day off as it meant that I wouldn’t have to sit for hours on end inputing pointless data for companies that I really couldn’t care less about. But my mood quickly shifted when I realised that, due to the fact that my brain was currently trying to escape through my eyeballs, my day was going to be just as unproductive and boring as it would have been had I stayed at work.
Usually a sick day can be spent watching TV, reading or possibly catching up on researching/ writing for this blog. However I was forced to spend Wednesday curled up in a dark room, trying to find a position where I wouldn’t feel like my head was about to explode. And it occurred to me as I lay there, in pain and bored out of my mind, that I couldn’t really remember a recent time where I was voluntarily doing nothing. That’s because as a society we’ve been told that we have to be doing something productive 24/7 or else we’re lazy, wasting our lives etc. I felt like a failure, like I was cheating something because I was just lying around, even despite the fact that I couldn’t feel half of my face, of even see out of one of my eyes.
And what’s more we’re so bombarded with stimuli that any time away from that, where we’re just alone with our thoughts, feels totally alien. And this is where i’m going to talk about phones and social media again (cue groans). Because as I was lying there, knowing that any light, especially light from a screen would make my migraine much worse, I kept checking my phone. It was for no reason as well because, like I said before, as soon as I picked it up the light from the screen would send a sharp stab of pain to the back of my eyes and i’d have to put it back down again. You’d think that after the first couple of times of doing this i’d learn and leave the phone checking for another day, but I didn’t. It was like I was having withdrawal symptoms, my brain needed the short-term hit that it gets from checking social media, or playing mindless apps, it was no longer accustomed to just ‘being’.
I’m not going to act like phones or social media are inherently bad, and i’ve talked about this before. My phone allows me to do so many things, I can talk to my friends and family, I have apps that help me with learning new languages, and my social media is where I promote this blog (not very well but you know, I give it a go). But the problem with being able to do anything means that we’re constantly doing everything, and it’s burning us out. How many of you use your phone whilst watching TV? Most of you i’m sure. It’s changing how we interact, or don’t interact, with each other and the world around us. We no longer take in as much because we’re filling our time with other, much less meaningful things.
The take away from this, possibly meandering, post is this. Try doing just one thing. This is something that i’m trying to do better at from now on myself. If you sit down to watch a show or a movie with your family, leave your phone in another room and just focus on what’s happening. If you’re reading, writing, tidying up, don’t have a Youtube video playing in the background distracting you. If you’re having a conversation with friends, leave your phone in your pocket/bag. I can’t tell you how long it sometimes takes me to write one of these things because i’m constantly being distracted by the ‘background noise’ of some show or another that I’ve put on, but I can tell you that due to those distractions i’ve put out work that i’m not really very pleased with because I couldn’t get it any better with everything else that was going on around me.
And every once in a while, do nothing. Allow yourself that time to sit and just be, with no goals or deadlines or guilt. Because you won’t really be doing nothing, you’ll be relaxing, thinking, recharging, escaping.
In the end, my sick day wasn’t really a write off like I thought. I planned this post, I thought of ideas for future posts, I developed more ideas for the novel that i’m writing, and most importantly I got better. I finally listened to my body and gave it the rest of the day free of screens and stimuli, and the next day I woke up with a clear head, ready for the next few months before another tiny creature finds its way inside my brain with a pick-axe to teach me a lesson.